The Last Day of School.......

Today is an odd day and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. For the last 6+ months, I've been a fairly one-dimensional character in this movie we call life. And my one dimension has been cooking school. I am quite certain I've bored my friends to tears talking about culinary techniques, the intricacies of sauce building, the finesse of carving various proteins, the flavor marriages in cuisines I've sampled (ya get the idea......I've been into it). I can not tell you how many evenings I would come home at 2am completely wired, unable to sleep because I was processing and reprocessing and absorbing and contemplating the knowledge I had just been given about that night's subject matter. Or I would lie awake pondering something Chef said or something Chef asked. And I can not remember dreaming this much about food and food topics.

Having said that over the last few weeks the classes have not had as big an impact as the majority of the previous sessions. I am not sure if it is the subject matter, or me just getting burned out, or what........but I'm kinda glad to have a break from the 20+ hour Mondays......

I am truly sad to be parting ways with some of the people I've grown accustomed to seeing on a regular basis. I love to hang out with these people, joke with these people, and I love to cook with these people. It has been a blessing and an honor to know so many of my classmates and the staff. My memory bank is so full of warm and fuzzy recollections from these past 6 months.

I will treasure these memories........how many people get the opportunity to eat a chicken foot? Or create lobster butter? Or set flame to something on purpose (ok this one may be common but still it is cool)? Or get a tour from a world renowned produce expert.....in his 80s and who was giving a tour to the Chinese government reps the next day!? Or almost spill wine on the Iron Chef Chairman? Or get yelled at for eating with my fingers or not cutting on a cutting board like I was a 12-year-old? Or put a piece of kitchen equipment in wrong and take 10 minutes to figure out why the heck it is not working properly? Or confuse my twin classmates the entire length of this program? Or fight with a dastardly black cod's pin bones for 20 minutes before figuring out that I was deboning it COMPLETELY wrong? Or get a tour and special tasting menu from one of the most famous restaurants in the country? Or touch - let alone work with -caul fat (don't ask....just google and see for yourself)? Or make the wrong recipe in the first friggin' class? Or make some really tasty stocks from scratch.....and puff pastry from scratch......and French buttercream from scratch.........and mayo from scratch? Or....and this is a big or.....or bond with men and women that I don't think I would ever have crossed paths with had it not been for this time and place in history at this school?

A part of me feels relief at the completion but a big part of me is sad today. I've been trying to figure out all morning why I was grumpy and now I think I know why. The end of this particular chapter of my life is coming to a close and a big part of me will miss it. Yes I like to moan about the hours and dishes and the mopping..........but I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything in the world. Well.....maybe the mopping.

To all of my classmates, TAs, and to my Chef instructor - I can only quote Bob Hope right now because in this very rare instance I am at a loss for words and getting a little too weepy for my taste.................Thanks for the memories.

Is optomism over-rated?

As this week winds down and I find myself in a position to either get a few more 'ta-dos' done at work or ponder life so...... pondering life wins. What can I say? I'm a dreamer and a procrastinator all rolled into one.....not the best combo for an employee at a day job 20 minutes before quittin' time. Yep. I'm in a ponder mood. And a good mood. Actually I need to correct myself......a great mood!

So then I pondered (since I'm in the mode and mood) about why I'm in such a great mood! Well, things in general are going in the right direction for me right now! WooHoo! Culinary school is winding down, I'm actually losing weight in a healthy manner, and I think progress is on the horizon in the areas of my life where I have had obstacles in the past. AND my boyfriend will be home from a week-long business trip. Life is GREAT! (Good doesn't do it justice).

But since I don't easily fall out of ponder mode it got me thinking about losing it all. Where did that thought come from? That is not very optimistic - much more pessimistic don't ya think? So I had a choice to make - consider the happiness or consider the sadness. So about as quickly as it entered my mind I shoved it out with brute force. And I did that because I'm a realistic optimist.

While I do not kid myself into thinking that life will not always be rosy, I try to think of the worst that can happen and really it's not all that bad (unless maybe it all happens at once but I would take the Vegas odds on that not happening). And on top of all of that, worrying about what bad things MIGHT happen does me absolutely no good! While I think it is vital to be conscientious about what it takes to maintain happiness and not take life (or people) for granted, I believe that taking the path of assuming life will be great as long as I keep up my end of the bargain is really the only way to go. Boy howdy was that a run-on sentence if I've ever seen one.

Anyway, I just want to say that I love being an optimist. Wish there were more optimists in this world..........