So I just returned from a short jaunt to Texas to formally introduce myself to 2 newcomers on this lovely planet of ours. First stop – South Fort Worth to meet my 9 week old nephew, Lincoln. Second stop – Flower Mound to meet 6 week old college roommate baby, Landry. So off I went on this adventure of unchartered territory for me – newborns. What the heck do I know about newborns? I know you have to support their necks, and that they like to be bounced around, and for boys I knew that they can sneak a “spray” during changing time so ya gotta watch out for that. Other than that? CLUELESS.
One of the first things that really struck me was how poignantly aware these little individuals are. Every single millisecond their eyes are open, they are on high-alert, soak-in-the-surroundings mode……if I could put it into adult analogies (which everyone knows I love)…..they remind me of some kind of CSI agent – assessing the scene around them, making sure they do not miss even one minute detail, trying to make sense of what it is they are seeing. I guess the major flaw in this analogy is that babies seem to relish and enjoy the amazing scene they’ve just stumbled upon, which I am guessing is not the case with most CSI investigations. But I digress.
I was overwhelmed by how vulnerable these teeny human beings are. When you are carrying them around, they don’t even hang on yet – they 100% rely and trust you not to drop them (and NO all you haters out there, I didn’t drop anyone!). They 100% rely and trust that you (actually their mom’s boobs) are going to feed them. They 100% rely and trust that you won’t let them drown in the bath, that you will put them in warm enough clothes, that you will keep them dry and de-soiled. They rely on you for EVERYTHING. They can’t even grip a whole lot yet (unless it’s hair, a necklace, or an earring).
Another quite obvious observation is how much they eat, sleep, and poo/pee. There is not a huge amount of playtime with them at this age. However I must admit that watching them during those precious playtime moments are mesmerizing……you want to make sure you hear each and every gurgle and catch every last facial expression. But back to the E S & PP…..the quantity of all of them is mind boggling. SO much nursing, SO many naps, and SOOOO much of the poos and pees. And the more I thought of the male aspect of the whole experience this weekend it made me think..... how much is really going to change between now and when they get much older? They will still love to sleep, will still love to poop, will still love to eat, and will still appreciate boobs even if it is in an entirely different fashion. Come to think of it, men really are simple creatures.
On to parenting styles…..where to begin. I believe both sets of parents are laid back and go-with-the-flow but it amazed me how many differences there can be in parenting style at this age. I know what you’re thinking….”well Duh Tiffany” – aside: I’m glad the use of “No Duh” is no longer popular in the common English vernacular – it’s demeaning but in this instance I’m sure it crept into your subconcious. But I’m talking the iddy biddy differences. For example - # of times the diaper gets changed. One parent set went through 5-ish diapers a day making sure he squeezed out enough #2 to justify the change, yet the other set changed after each pee which resulted in more of a 10+ daily diaper allotment. Neither is wrong and quite frankly I don’t know where I’d be on this sliding scale, it’s just an observation about how a minor philosophical detail can be so different from 2 parental points of view.
One of the first things that really struck me was how poignantly aware these little individuals are. Every single millisecond their eyes are open, they are on high-alert, soak-in-the-surroundings mode……if I could put it into adult analogies (which everyone knows I love)…..they remind me of some kind of CSI agent – assessing the scene around them, making sure they do not miss even one minute detail, trying to make sense of what it is they are seeing. I guess the major flaw in this analogy is that babies seem to relish and enjoy the amazing scene they’ve just stumbled upon, which I am guessing is not the case with most CSI investigations. But I digress.
I was overwhelmed by how vulnerable these teeny human beings are. When you are carrying them around, they don’t even hang on yet – they 100% rely and trust you not to drop them (and NO all you haters out there, I didn’t drop anyone!). They 100% rely and trust that you (actually their mom’s boobs) are going to feed them. They 100% rely and trust that you won’t let them drown in the bath, that you will put them in warm enough clothes, that you will keep them dry and de-soiled. They rely on you for EVERYTHING. They can’t even grip a whole lot yet (unless it’s hair, a necklace, or an earring).
Another quite obvious observation is how much they eat, sleep, and poo/pee. There is not a huge amount of playtime with them at this age. However I must admit that watching them during those precious playtime moments are mesmerizing……you want to make sure you hear each and every gurgle and catch every last facial expression. But back to the E S & PP…..the quantity of all of them is mind boggling. SO much nursing, SO many naps, and SOOOO much of the poos and pees. And the more I thought of the male aspect of the whole experience this weekend it made me think..... how much is really going to change between now and when they get much older? They will still love to sleep, will still love to poop, will still love to eat, and will still appreciate boobs even if it is in an entirely different fashion. Come to think of it, men really are simple creatures.
On to parenting styles…..where to begin. I believe both sets of parents are laid back and go-with-the-flow but it amazed me how many differences there can be in parenting style at this age. I know what you’re thinking….”well Duh Tiffany” – aside: I’m glad the use of “No Duh” is no longer popular in the common English vernacular – it’s demeaning but in this instance I’m sure it crept into your subconcious. But I’m talking the iddy biddy differences. For example - # of times the diaper gets changed. One parent set went through 5-ish diapers a day making sure he squeezed out enough #2 to justify the change, yet the other set changed after each pee which resulted in more of a 10+ daily diaper allotment. Neither is wrong and quite frankly I don’t know where I’d be on this sliding scale, it’s just an observation about how a minor philosophical detail can be so different from 2 parental points of view.
What I must compliment also is the papa involvement from both fathers. If I ever get knocked up…..er….or “blessed with child” I guess I should say……….the baby daddy better be prepared for teamwork. I heard a story of a dad sleeping in another room so he could get good rest during his kid’s first 3 months of life and let the mom handle the midnight issues since she was on maternity leave. BS in a BIG WAY Mister! I’d wake that a-hole up on purpose whether he helped or not. The way I see it, if the baby is 50% my egg and 50% his sperm – that should also compute to the lack of sleep percentages. Just sayin. (And pardon the quasi-French usage.....it really ticked me off when I heard that.)
What I loved to watch most were the moms. These two wonderful women are so in tuned to what their baby wants and when they want it. Both of these moms have softened - not that they were harsh before - there is just something so serene and gentle about them now. AND what’s even more incredible is that the baby knows exactly when their mother is holding him – ya can’t fool a baby. Not grandma, not aunt, not friend, and not daddy can sub in at those times – ONLY mama will do. Extraordinary phenomenon. But then when I think about, sometimes I need comfort and support; and as sweet as my friends are, as supportive as my dear sweet Rob can be, as loving and kind as my dad is, sometimes no one will do except for my mother. I need to hear what SHE has to say about the situation, what HER opinions are, whether or not SHE approves – I believe this very well could have stemmed from birth after watching these two little guys this weekend.
At the end of it all, I can tell you with utmost (albeit opinionated) certainty, that one of the best feelings I’ve ever had throughout my existence here on Earth (so I guess I'll have to exclude that Jupiter stint a few years back.....sorry....just making an observation about my own bloviating) is having a baby sleep on my chest as I relaxed and held him (this goes for both babies - see pics above). I envy their sleep. I wish I could slumber as deeply and purely and soundly as they do. One mom asked me what I thought they dreamed about……..other than the obvious milk & boob conquest on the good side, and the nightmare trip through the suffocating birth canal on the nightmare side, I can’t think of much that would make them restless, or in need of a sleep aid or cocktail to help them doze.....must be nice. They don't need a paper and pen by the bed to help them go back to sleep. But enough about sleep. Another certainty (again, my opinion but in this blog my opinion is law so HA!) I can remember very few times in my life where I have been more enamored with anyone or anything while just watching them move or make faces. The level of entertainment provided by those wiggly arms and legs, that head that wants to be steady but often is just too heavy to hold upright, or that cute little diaper baby butt that seems to calm them down when you pat it while bouncing them – it’s better than a “Real Housewives of New Jersey” marathon on Bravo!
And I can’t remember being asked sooooo frequently, “Does this experience make you want to have one?” Pretty simple question to throw out at someone dontcha think? Hmph. But a very deep, complicated, complex answer. More to follow on the next blog………..Part II – Do I want one?
What I loved to watch most were the moms. These two wonderful women are so in tuned to what their baby wants and when they want it. Both of these moms have softened - not that they were harsh before - there is just something so serene and gentle about them now. AND what’s even more incredible is that the baby knows exactly when their mother is holding him – ya can’t fool a baby. Not grandma, not aunt, not friend, and not daddy can sub in at those times – ONLY mama will do. Extraordinary phenomenon. But then when I think about, sometimes I need comfort and support; and as sweet as my friends are, as supportive as my dear sweet Rob can be, as loving and kind as my dad is, sometimes no one will do except for my mother. I need to hear what SHE has to say about the situation, what HER opinions are, whether or not SHE approves – I believe this very well could have stemmed from birth after watching these two little guys this weekend.
At the end of it all, I can tell you with utmost (albeit opinionated) certainty, that one of the best feelings I’ve ever had throughout my existence here on Earth (so I guess I'll have to exclude that Jupiter stint a few years back.....sorry....just making an observation about my own bloviating) is having a baby sleep on my chest as I relaxed and held him (this goes for both babies - see pics above). I envy their sleep. I wish I could slumber as deeply and purely and soundly as they do. One mom asked me what I thought they dreamed about……..other than the obvious milk & boob conquest on the good side, and the nightmare trip through the suffocating birth canal on the nightmare side, I can’t think of much that would make them restless, or in need of a sleep aid or cocktail to help them doze.....must be nice. They don't need a paper and pen by the bed to help them go back to sleep. But enough about sleep. Another certainty (again, my opinion but in this blog my opinion is law so HA!) I can remember very few times in my life where I have been more enamored with anyone or anything while just watching them move or make faces. The level of entertainment provided by those wiggly arms and legs, that head that wants to be steady but often is just too heavy to hold upright, or that cute little diaper baby butt that seems to calm them down when you pat it while bouncing them – it’s better than a “Real Housewives of New Jersey” marathon on Bravo!
And I can’t remember being asked sooooo frequently, “Does this experience make you want to have one?” Pretty simple question to throw out at someone dontcha think? Hmph. But a very deep, complicated, complex answer. More to follow on the next blog………..Part II – Do I want one?
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